Actually, this is a double-edged sword. Many people do treat their dogs much as they treat their children: let them frow up like topsy and then yell, scream and throw things at them when they misbehave… (or perversely blaming someone else for the misbehavior) when in fact the misbehavior is the result of parent/dog owner not giving the child/dog proper, loving, firm guideance as they grow.

The child leash, though… *sigh* That’s simply sad, and, IMO, the result of a lazy parent. My mom managed to raise five children (all born within the space of five years!) without ever once losing one of us in public… or having us run off while she was distracted by some bright, shiny object.

*profound sigh*

Being a parent is tough, but the rewards are great. Unfortunately, too many parents’ kids turn out like their dogs.

Oh my! I absolutely can’t stand to see a child on a leash or a harness or whatever. I understand the purpose of it, but it seems inhumane to me. However, I don’t want to be judgmental because I don’t have any children.

It makes me sad to see kids in those harnesses too. I guess the only time I’d consider it would be maybe in an airport. Even then tho, there are other things I’d try first like a stroller or a backpack. Really tho, in those kind of situations I’m more concerned about someone possibly taking my kids, vs. them wandering off.
I have to agree with David…
“Being a parent is tought, but the rewards are great.”

I, personally, would never use a leash - however, a good friend of mine had to - when her son was a toddler he was a runner. He could get out of a stoller and refused to be carried. They only used it and they would go somewhere that was crowded or to a place that he might get into a dangerous situation. It gave them peace of mind having him “leashed” - instead of having to spend the entire time fighting with him. So - as each child is different, so is are the situations to use them.

Here’s when I bought three harnesses and leashes… when my very active 3 year old (10 years old now but still no fear) boy would leap from his carseat and hide from me in the PARKING lot while my other two toddler boys would run circles in front of CARS while I frantically screamed and searched for the hiding son.

I used the leashes for one summer if I went out alone with my wild bunch. Once at the zoo, I had a woman get in my face, and say, “THAT (leash) is cruel.” I think one of my children being harmed or lost would have been infinately more cruel.

I would NOT go back to those endless three toddler boy days. I like my children just fine as sweet young gentlemen who sometimes open and hold doors for mothers of toddlers.

Hey visiting from the Blogging Chicks Carnival

I did use a harness when my son and I flew alone at Christmas. I had to carry everything and him and it was PACKED.

I didn’t feel badly at all because I’d prefer to not lose my baby!

Anyway just a thought maybe don’t judge too quickly when you see a mom with a harness kwim? Maybe that is her best choice. Also some mom’s really don’t know how to be a good Mommy.

Although I DID catch myself saying to my son the other day “stay…. stay ….stay” and thought “Just like I’d say to a puppy”;)

Thanks for stopping by my blog too.

Ok, I admit it — my kid was one that you would have felt sorry for. I used a ‘leash’ or ‘harness’ at the mall, the airport and other busy places where my son wanted to be out of the stroller and run around, but the people were to many and I was afraid I’d lose him in the crowd. I would never have used it if he didn’t like it, but it was the best for both of us–he could get out and run without holding my hand and I didn’t panic about losing sight of him. Found you through BChicks.

Awww. I do understand it in situations like Malissa’s and in busy places where you don’t have enough hands, especially if you have a runner. I just see them abused a lot, used more as a dragging thing than just a last effort, etc etc, kwim?? Thanks for the opinions ;).

How insulting, to say one is a lazy mama because one uses a harness. When one child is 15 months older than the other, sometimes it’s the best option. I always had one crawling out of the stroller and one running — and they were girls! Now, when my son came along, wowie zowie did I not know anything about running! At age 2 1/2, he still does not know how to walk, he does everything at a dead run. I don’t drag him, he drags me lol! I’ve never treated my children like dogs — I think barking orders and expecting first time obedience from a toddler is more like dog training than using the harness, imho.

I never used a leash myself but I probably would have with my son….he was an extremely hyper child & I was always having to hunt for him when out in the public. I know, I wasn’t the best momma in the world but we survived. *s*

Oh, dear… *sigh* I think someone’s going to be insulted again.

“I think barking orders and expecting first time obedience from a toddler is more like dog training than using the harness, imho.”

Spoken by someone who’s never trained a dog. Dogs, like children, are all different. But neither dogs nor children are properly trained with “barked” orders. And neither dogs nor children “get things right” the first time (barring the rare dog genius and even rarer child genius). Training either a dog or a child takes discipline–more discipline for the trainer than for the dog or the child!–and time to draw the correct paths of response. In both cases, it’s the little things that count far, far more than witlessly “barking orders” and stupidly expecting “first time obedience” (neither of which has anything in common with dog training OR proper child raising).

Want a well-behaved toddler in public? It starts with the infant. And yeh, I’ve been there and done that with two very energetic, inquisitive, fearless toddlers… though I had the “aide” position in the situation, thanks to having) chosen their mother wisely (more wisely than I knew even then). *heh*

My own mom, who raised five children pretty much on her own (five children all born within the space of five years, no less), since we rarely saw our workaholic dad, managed to keep all five of us well-managed in public, even when the twins were toddlers… without leashes, “barking orders” or expecting forst time compliance… because she worked on instilling the behaviors we needed to exhibit in public… at home.

Maybe I should repost the “Child-Raising 101″ that referred to the dog book but as a serious post, in light of the lack of understanding of dog training (and apparently, child raising) that the above-quoted comment seems to indicate…

LOL barking orders isn’t going to work anyway, not with my little guy. He knows how to behave in public, we have always been able to take him out to restaurants, stores, etc etc - within reason he is always well behaved, because he is expected to be, and he knows that if he isn’t, he’ll have to leave the fun place and go home to boring familiarity ;).

I just think with one, probably even with two, there are better methods than the leash in most situations. I’m sure it can be used properly and as I said in my original post, I think there are times when it can be helpful. I don’t think it’s something to get all upset about either, you do what is best for your child, and take everything else like the ducks, water off the back ;).

Actually the first-time obedience example comes from a very widely-used parenting series, Growing Kids God’s Way, put out by Growing Families International by Gary and Anne-Marie Ezzo. My comment was a side-swipe at a methodology we tried to use and when it didn’t work as advertised, were told we weren’t doing it right. It’s right up there with the Pearls’ parenting book, To Train Up a Child, although the Ezzos aren’t quite as enthusiastic with their spanking philosophy. My point was that there is more than one way to treat your child like a dog. Perhaps your mother had children with different temperaments than mine — my experience has shown that when one parent thinks ‘their’ way will work for all kids, their kids all have similar temperaments and respond well to the same kind of training/discipline. Mine do not. My oldest daughter, whom I used a harness with when her sister toddling, is mostly a rule-follower. “Don’t go in the street” was pretty much obeyed with perhaps one or two corrections at home when practicing in the yard. My younger daughter, whom I didn’t need the harness for as much b/c her older sister wasn’t taking up my attention, was a little more stubborn, but still got the concept by two years old. My son, who at 2 1/2 is 2 yrs younger than his older sister, laughs and runs down the middle of our mostly quiet street when we’re working on this at home. In public, we either us a harness or hang on to his hand. Which is crueler, holding his hand up above his head til the blood runs out of it and it gets numb, or using a harness? I hardly think that’s lazy. We still work on the ’stop and go game’ so he will learn to stop when we say so, but until he gets it, I won’t be leaving the harness at home in fear that someone will think I’m a lazy mom.

Oh, no, not a mention of the Ezzo’s…… I can’t say anything nice about that, as my little guy has been raised mostly AP and basically anti-everything Babywise.

In from the BC carnival

Hmmm, interesting post. I agree some people treat their children like dogs (and dogs like children).

One of my good friends has the harnesses for his two children (ages 18 mo and 2 1/2) as a matter of course, including places like the shopping mall, the park, etc. My friend uses them because he’s concerned abot the kids running off and disappearing…The 2 1/2 year old especially is quite active and has a tendency to walk here and there and everywhere. He seems to be generally respectful and gentle with his kids when he has them in the harnesses (he certainly doesn’t drag them along), although I know that many people just wouldn’t agree with using them at all.

I don’t have children of my own yet, but I would say my preference is not to use the harnesses if it can be avoided. However, i can see in certain situations it MIGHT be warranted (e.g. alone at the airport with my child, hands full of bags and packages, a million people around; in an amusement park with a “runner” with a million people around). I prefer not to make a blanket statement about the harnesses, since it seems like one has to take it on a case-by-case basis, at least somewhat. The most important thing is to treat the child with respect, keep a close eye on him, and take in account what is best for him.

Believe me, I don’t have anything nice to say about them anymore either. We’ve done a 180 since starting with GKGW breastfeeding classes in 1998. Babywise was the biggest mistake they could have made — all their parenting advice totally taken out of it’s original context (class settings, lots of reminders about not being rigid with it, etc.). But the more I’ve heard about Gary’s horrible personal ethics, the more I’ve turned away from anything I was taught in those classes.

I must know (This is not to be aimed at any of the polite case-by-case people, so I’ll word carefully): How many parents who depend on the leash, harness, or any other kind of restraint, have ever had it used on them? I think it would be very degrading, personally. But then, I went to a daycare and afterschool, but I know my parents would never put me on a leash like a dog. Why, I even want to build a fence around my backyard so my dog can run without the stuid leash sometimes. I kind’ve feel sorry for the dogs who are never outside without some kind of restraint.

i don’t feel that kids should be on child leashes because i feel that when they get older it effects with them and they wouldn’t be use to going on their own!!!!!!!!!