I rush around this morning after another night of very little sleep to get ready and take the little one to storytime at the library, generally a good mommy thing to do. We go to the library, drag in the obligatory duck (he’s the only one there who sits on my lap and glares at everyone while grabbing his duck for dear life), and he screams his head off. He wants to go color with the markers in the children’s section, not go into storytime.

Never mind that these are the exact same markers that we have at home. Then he wants to run wild all over the library and go yell at the nice people sitting and quietly reading their magazines. He also wants any toy that any other child is playing with, just so he can yank it away, yell “mine” and then throw it and run off. You’d think I was raising an anti-social caveman or that I never take him out.

After that ordeal, we still have to go to the grocery store. All I hear from the moment we pull into the parking lot is “banana, balloon, duck” over and over again. If only that was my entire shopping list. So we drag the poor duck into the store, get him all situated in his comfy cart cover thingy, and he starts yelling because he sees the balloons.

Well, generally the balloons aren’t received until after we check out, and that is GREAT for me because I don’t have a balloon attacking me the whole way through the store, and I don’t have to be yelling at him every two seconds to stop squeezing/biting/hitting the balloon so that he doesn’t pop it in his face, flip out, and destroy the entire shopping trip. However, today a nice but misguided lady was offering balloons as we were walking down the main aisle, so what is there to do but take it.

He is fascinated with the cantalopes. He’s never had one, probably would refuse to eat it, but uncut I suppose they look like balls. I made the mistake of letting him feel/hold one, and he instantly sinks his teeth into it. Oh dear.

We finally get the bananas and he has to hold them. Then he starts biting them as well. Never mind that he refuses to eat the bananas, he still wants to maul them to death. We get the rest of the food, with him grabbing everything in sight and launching it at unsuspecting people, and he decides that it is naptime.

Of course he’d never nap otherwise, but now he is determined to lie down even though he is still in the cart. He sticks his feet on one side and puts his head on his duck, then gets furious because he can’t stretch out. This would be the day that I have to get a giant amount of groceries, it couldn’t just be a simple soy milk run.

Then we go to check out, of course waiting in a long line while my food melts in the cart, with the little one still furious about the nap. There are of course no baggers, so I get to reach over the cart and the payment ledge thing to cram my food into bags in some semblance of order, and not break my eggs in the process. Then the little guy decides that, instead of a nap, he will attack the credit card machine, pushing the buttons, shaking it, pulling the pen on the springy cord all the way back and letting go, making it a lethal flying weapon.

I finally get all the groceries back into the cart and haul everyone out to the car, throw everything in the car, and get home. Then I get to haul everything up a flight of stairs while the little one watches me and laughs from the lanai. Sadly, it does not end there. As I take the last load up and unlock the door to throw everything inside, I hear the dreaded words “Uh-oh, Mama” and a little giggle.

He is up on the couch and has found a container of Jello strawberry/banana pudding stuff - sitting out overnight of course. Thankfully - or not - he didn’t actually eat this, which is good for his stomach and the washing machine. However, he instead decided to feed it to the couch and then jump on the remaints that were now all over the cushions, smashing the bright pink, already spoiled pudding deep into my couch cushions.

After all this, he is no longer tired, but is destroying his room and yelling to be let out. I, on the other hand, could use a few days of sleep.

The latest edition of the storyblogging carnival is up, featuring my article, what fun!

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